The opposite of faith is not doubt.

Perhaps the opposite of faith is not doubt. Perhaps it is fear. To lack faith perhaps isn't as much of an intellectual disbelief in the existence of God as fear and distrust that there is a good God. If I don't emotionally believe, practically believe, in the goodness of God, am I a believer? Don't the believers have to believe? Don't the saved have to trust the Savior? For yes, salvation from sins, but this too: the salvation from fear.

From One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp 

I've accepted this perspective. It echoes what James about faith without works. I used to interpret the passage as my faith was dead if it wasn't accompanied by works.
Now I understand, what is faith if it isn't in my works? The things I do and say everyday.

How do people know you are saved?

I finished!

Yes, I did! I ran 3.1 miles in 32 minutes which would not have happened if my friends we're not pushing (dragging) me along the way.

It was a numbing 19 degrees when we woke up at 5:45 in the morning.
The run that we thought we were running in a shirt and shorts turned out to need layers and layers of shirts and jackets, tights and shorts, 2 pairs of socks and something to cover the ears. Something that's not very easy to find at Target the night before.

Nonetheless we did it. With 10,000 other people!
And eventhough there was a risk for hypothermia, Hanna ran the 15K and ran it well! She finished in an hour and 30.

The best part about the run? The chocolate, duh. That warm fondue hit exactly the right spot.

So proud of myself for finishing my goal! It makes my run in March so much less intimidating. I even think I can beat my time! I guess I just can't believe that the perspective I have now. Before 3.1 miles seemed like forever, and now--I'm ready for the next challenge.

Though paying money to put pressure on my legs and lungs with thousands of other people makes no sense when you think about it (what's wrong with us?), the effort deserves a reward. Chocolate, medal, appreciation, whatever!

Whatever your goals may be, push through until you achieve what you set out for!
If you need something to work for, don't wait for someone else to give you something to do.

When you leave the academic world, it's nice to know that the burden of finishing a paper for the class you dread is gone. But it may have been the one thing that kept you working your brain, your muscles!

Take a step back. Are you doing all that you can do with your potential? Yes, all I did was run a race. A very short one in many eyes. But I need that confidence, that assurance to know that I'm capable of that and much more.

You are, too. Go seek it.

Cycle of inspiration

I finally ran 3.1 miles yesterday. It took 40 minutes and a lot of stopping, sipping of water, and yelling at myself. "I CAN'T DO THIS!" "I CAN DO THIS!" In the end, I had Beyonce and the Barenaked Ladies to thank for my ability to finally reach this milestone.

Three miles isn't much for the avid runner but for this couch potato, it is.
It's more than just the length--I've finally convinced myself that I can make it this far. And I need to because I signed up for another 5K for this Saturday.

The influence that peer pressure has is amazing.

My friends are running the Hot Chocolate 5K/15K this weekend and I couldn't be the only person that didn't run! Plus, there's a running jacket and chocolate involved. All I need is an incentive, people.

Last week, Maize, my lifelong BFFer, let me now that she was impressed that I was STILL running and how big of a turnaround from college. Most importantly, she mentioned that I inspired her.

Was she joking? She inspired me to begin with!

I realized how blessed I was to have friends that push me to live better.

Friends to make me run and not just be the skinny girl, but the skinny girl with muscle.

Friends to make me devote time in the morning to just me and God.

Friends to remind me that there's nothing better than getting mail.
And to never underestimate the need to invest in friendship.

Friends to motivate me to cook. (Ahem, work in progress.)

Friends that remind me that there's nowhere better to be but in the hand of God.







The cycle of inspiration continues. I can't take credit for most of my quirks. Perhaps you can't either.
And perhaps, that's the best thing ever.

And all this time I thought I was a Mary

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister calledMary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” -Luke 10:38-42, ESV


Out of love and excitement, I want to serve God in so many ways. I've been waiting for Him to call me to missions overseas and non-profit work but come up short. His affirmation and conviction in these areas are low compared to other calls I've heard before. It's been disappointing and concerning--doesn't God want his servant to do many things in his name? 


Of course, He knows me better than myself. 
Put on my heart in July, the girls fellowship (officially named GLOW) is underway. These girls have open hearts and ears, genuine prayers and a need for community of the same purpose. He's going to do big things through them. Though I'm ready to take on the next challenge, God is putting is hand to my heart in a way, telling me, "Nincy, Nincy, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Choose the good portion, it will not be taken away from you." 


Right now, my good portion is resting in God's love and blessings and discipling the girls in GLOW. 


What are the many things that are troubling you? What is God wanting you to choose instead? 

Are we missing the point?

For a long time, I believed that I was saved so I could live saved. I'm not sure if I'm tackling a philosophical issue here but Paul puts it frankly in his letter to the Philippians.

"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)

Did Christ love you so you could live LOVED or did He love you so you could live LOVE?
There are feeding seasons and giving seasons. I understand that some of us are underfed and need to commit to learning more about Christ and his promises before serving Him in this world. But do we hide behind this season so we don't have to face the one before us?

We are too comfortable in our I'm a Christian-once-a-week-lives! It's apparent in our prayers, our actions and our words.

A couple signs that you live un-uncomfortably:
1. You pray for his blessings MORE than you pray for the opportunity to bless others.
2. You struggle to put yourself in humble places so others or God may be upheld.
3. You don't give. Even if you don't have the means to give financially, you don't give your time either.

Let the Holy Spirit guide you this year into being his servant. Whether that means being a leader and volunteering at a shelter or mission, evangelizing or going to a new bible study, listen to His Spirit within you. And as much as the Lord pours into your life, pour it back somewhere else.