Keep Dreaming

25 is right around the corner. I love birthdays and like you, I get excited for my own. Since it is 25, I'm wondering if this is the last birthday that I can get excited for.

Really. What is after 25? I'm crossing society's final threshold. I'm now allowed to rent a car and my insurance rate will finally drop to something reasonable (I hope).

24 is young but I've still learned quite a few things. So I'm going to share them once a week until October 27 is finally here.

So Lesson #1. Keep Dreaming.

I've always been an idealist. The kind of person that eat rainbows and poops butterflies (quoting Dr. Suess here). It can drive my family, friends, and me a bit nuts but I will always dream big dreams.

My dreams are what made me write the President when he was a Senator and tell him that I hope he runs for office. I received a letter back from him not too long after--a treasure whether you lean left or right.

My dreams are what made me apply for a summer internship in Washington, D.C. when I was in college. I met lifetime friends and learned so much about life on the Hill and off.

Dreams don't always come true and I'm thankful for that-- I wouldn't change the sequence of my life for anything. The blessings are too big to compare to the blips of disappointment and heartache.

But I've also seen that the happiest and most grounded people are the ones who continue to put goals in front of them.

When you're out of college, it's up to you to create dreams for yourself. It's a crossroad for most people--am I done or do I keep going? 

KEEP GOING. I wanted to quit when I graduated college with a pile of debt and no job. I was convinced that there was no way that I was going to become a writer. Three years later I'm writing and still dreaming. 

Successful people have goals for themselves. It's not elementary to keep a journal or write out a 3, 5 or 10 year plan. Instead it shows that you're not willing to settle for the present--you expect more from yourself and your life then just the current predicament.

So go, dream away!

You'll stumble but not fall

The title is a promise from God--not some clever saying I came up with. 

Psalm 37 has been on my mind for the past couple weeks. It's given me a piece as my world just seemed to be coming to a crashing halt. I was kicking myself, wondering what was going on, how could I be so dumb and hurling other insults in the mirror. I was stumbling and tripping all over myself. I thought, "Soon enough, I'm going to fall right on my face." 

That's when I came across Psalm 37. Here's the golden nuggets I highlighted in my Bible-

Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord, trust in Him and He will act. (Psalm 37:4-5)

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;

fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way,

over the man who carries out evil devices! (Psalm 37:7)

And what's been on repeat for sometime:

The steps of a man are established by the Lord,
when he delights in his way;
though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong,
for the Lord upholds his hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)

The Message puts it in such a great way.

"If he stumbles, he’s not down for long;
    God has a grip on his hand." 

So he's got you. You are held up by someone who will not let go. I think of a child who's learning to ride a bike. A parent supports you until you get control but sometimes you stumble any way. Hopefully, the parent is there to pick you up, dust you off and get you back on your way. 

But with God, hold on for the ride of your life. 

Trading in strength for love.

Last week, my accident took my car with it (thank God, not my life) and this weekend, I spontaneously bought a new car. It's fun, shiny, and happens to be the same make I had before. Before you scoff, it's different yet familiar. Not "the same." OK, to the story...

Yesterday after work, I continued to fiddle with my audio player like I've done for several days now. This time I was in a sermon mood so I put on my podcasts and not knowing how to work my audio player yet...the car picked its own. It was Barry Camp speaking at Highland (my home church in Waco) about yes answers to prayer. The topic wasn't exactly thrilling but listening to him was a lesson in itself.


For 22 years, I've yelled and thrown angry slurs at God for allowing certain "sucky" things to happen. The situations would throw me into confusion, causing me to brood over what has happened and what I did to deserve it. Though I've accepted (more like, in the process of accepting) that God's favor does not equal smooth, sailing life, I didn't want to overcome it.

Why? Because it would make me stronger and I'm not interested in being stronger. In my mind, stronger means more distant from others, more guarded and more hesitant to trust. That's what its meant for years now and I'm done with it.

Barry showed me another side, perhaps unintentionally. He shared his own sucky things. His mother was an alcoholic and he had 7 stepdads by the time he was 20, including one who at one time was only 2 years older than him, just to name a few.

My problems don't compare but that's not the point. Barry is this big teddy bear. He blubbers just at the thought of the Gospel. His heart is bigger than anyone else I know or hear. His problems made him into this big ball of sweet compassion and empathy.
There's one word you can summarize him in and that's love. And to my knowledge, the moment you turn into a person who can only love, you exemplify the very image of God.

The very image of God! I want to be there. What's the point of life if people can't look at you and see love?
Hold me to it, friends. I'm giving up strength for love. It's a testament to our faith if we can allow our sucky life stories to transform us into Christ. It isn't an overnight miracle (Barry's old) but it is His will.

Change really is good. Always.

A couple months ago, I attended Women of Faith and one of my favorite speakers at the conference was Patsy Clairmont. first off, she's a model woman for any one over 50. Let's just say, she had sass.
Patsy told a story about one her sons being ill. Her mantra was "change is good." Though his disease was getting worse, she told herself, "change is good." When the hospital he was staying at told her that they could no longer treat him and he had to be moved, she told herself,"change is good." As she was telling her story, I couldn't imagine having the same attitude that she had. I know I wouldn't be that way.

As things are now changing in my life (for the better), I'm definitely telling myself, "change is good." I just want to remember this moment...make a mental note for the future.
Sooner or later, something is going to change and I'm going to be as stubborn as an ox about it. But who am I to be happy one minute and angry the next? It's all change.

And as I've stated before, change is good.

Fourth of July

Time is so limited nowadays!
I want to quickly talk about my 4th of July weekend.
First off, I had high expectations. Mostly, because I wanted it to somewhat be like my Fourth of July last year which I spent in Washington, DC. You can read about it here. Yes, I know. What was I thinking? Obviously, my experience in Dallas was not going to rival that of the nation's capital! But still, I had the expectations and I was guaranteed to be disappointed IF I wasn't going to be at all flexible and open-minded.

Do you feel a lesson coming on?

My weekend was great. A friend from Waco was able to randomly join me in Dallas and we partook in the American past time of eating dessert before dinner and watching fireworks-- evidently the best fireworks in the nation?-- from the service road of the Dallas North Tollway along with many other fellow Americans who were too lazy to drive through traffic and get to the park.

The fireworks were beautiful AND better than the ones in DC. The company also made the night sweeter.
But it was nothing like my holiday last year and that's ok. Isn't that what makes days special anyway? That none of them are ever the same? There I go being optimistic again...

Full of it.

I just ate dinner and it's 11:00 at night. It's the only time I had to eat so I did. My belly will burst if I even attempt to lay on my bed and/or I will start feeling that horrible acid eroding my esophagus (darn you acid reflux and WebMD) so instead I'm writing.

Tonight was bible study night which means I'm full of the Word and epiphanies...there are just many truths running through my head right now. Truths that I don't want to forget and I want to be able to reflect on when life is much more difficult and challenging than it is right now.

Both of the above types of "full" are good. But what about when you're full of...pride? Selfishness? Anger? Bitterness? Lord knows I've felt all of these, probably once or twice just today. ;)
Our emotions come from God and that's not something we need to detach ourselves from. Instead, think about how full you are of that emotion.

Does it make you feel heavy? Does it creep up like stomach acid in your throat? Is it like garlic where the taste just doesn't go away?

Solutions? Chew a piece of gum. Cleanse your heart of that emotion. Forgive the person who wronged you. Forgive yourself. Turn to the Word and He will cleanse your palate.

Wash it out. Confess your sin/your emotions to someone else who can hold you accountable and give you advice if necessary.

Don't eat it again. If you know that something you eat gives you heartburn, you avoid it. The same goes for the sin/person/thing that causes your heart to burn in the wrong way.

Well, this was cheesy enough. I'll leave this stuff to Beth Moore.

To pursue or not to pursue.

Ohhh, how this question beats my brain into soggy cereal mush to the point where I cannot think about anything else. (That's the point where I blog about it.)

I must be vague about this certain thing I want to pursue but shouldn't. I'm trying to sit here and not pursue but of course, that just means that I want pursue even MORE.

PLEASE, I'll give anything to be able to pursue!
Yet I must wait. Do y'all get me!?
So here I am, frustrated and impatient, wanting exactly what I can't have.

I've heard good things come to those who wait. I searched for the word "wait" in the Bible (ESV) and found it 132 times! FYI: Love shows up 632 times and faith 474 times-- in case you needed a scale.

As I glance through the mentions, I remember Ruth's story as Naomi told her to wait for Boaz, knowing that he would settle their family matters and marry her. There was Hannah who prayed for a son, promising to dedicated him to the Lord and was assured by Elkanah to wait, she would know the right time to send Samuel away. Then, there's Job.

Oh, Job. He waited and waited and waited and things definitely got worse for him before it got better.

If these people waited and received what they needed from the Lord, then surely we can as well.

Lead me in your truth and teach me,for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the (darn) day long.
-Psalm 25:5