I gotchu.

My college roomie is coming home to me tomorrow. The person I used to spend every day with for three years is now someone I see sparingly. Last Thanksgiving, specifically.

We have a list of things to do during this short weekend.
Dinner
Shopping (duh) 
Photoshoot in bluebonnets
Baking (duh)
Going to sleep to Gilmore Girls (huge duh) 

You know, the traditional stuff.

This girl--we know the ins and outs of each other. We've been there through breakups, transitions, doubts, changes, church changes (it was Baylor), ALL OF IT. And what's even more amazing is I was GIVEN this girl.

Freshman year, I chose to go potluck. I knew no one coming to Baylor (this was a positive thing) and had no other choice. Anyone could have walked through that door on move in day. It could have been a cheerleader from Conroe, Texas. A home-schooled girl from Amarillo. A sorority chick from Austin.
But it was her. This pink-loving, short shorts-wearing, former model from Houston.

I'm proofreading for errors and realize it sounds like I'm in love with her. Well, I am!
She is my best friend and I don't plan on that changing.

The run.

Last Saturday, I ran my second 5K benefitting the Human Rights Initiative in Dallas. It was a great cause and timely because I needed to get back on that horse and this was the perfect push.

I tried to quit the night before, called my friend and asked how mad at me she would be if I backed out.
Somehow, she encouraged me--even convinced me that I may be able to win something.
She knew how to play to my ego.

Nevertheless, I was up bright and early on Saturday and ended up finishing 12th in my category. I must not have had much competition.

All in all, I think the run was successful because I've relapsed.

I want to workout again! 

Let's see how long this lasts.

Burnt out.

So I have my second 5K next weekend and surprise! I haven't run since the last one.

That's a lie. I've attempted to run but given up midway. I'm just so burnt out! I've seen the light of the tunnel already and I don't feel like turning back. When the guilt builds up, I punish myself with Jillian Michaels.

The cholesterol scare has made me want to keep up the running. I see the difference in my body (paunch is coming back) but still can't get myself off the bed, couch, chair... (can I blame the time change?)

Any tips for motivation? Why is getting back on the horse so much harder the second time?

An ode to everything white

On Friday I had my semi-annual check-up with the doc who had to test me for everything under the sun. I hesitated, "Are you sure I need to be tested for all that? I'm perfectly healthy." 

"Well you never know, and it'd be good to know where you stand," she replied. 

Fine. Blood was streamed out of my vein and into 4 plastic tubes. After taping me up with neon green tape, so nice and tight, the nurse sent me home. 

Little did I know she would call back today and tell me I have high cholesterol! She said it so nonchalantly, too. 

That was when I told my boss I was going to dying an early death and thought about the life insurance policies I took out. 

OK, I'm being dramatic. 

But that was REALLY when I looked up (WebMD is awesome) what could be causing this problem. And that's when I saw it. 

My most beloved foods are killing me! 

MILK. 

WHITE BREAD.

PASTA. 

SUGAR. 

MASHED POTATOES. 

PIE. 

WHITE RICE.

Why must these good things be so bad? 

Well, here I go. Another goal. I'm switching my 2 glasses of milk for soy. 

White bread for wheat. 

Pasta for salad? 

Cookies for Benefiber.

Mashed potatoes for real vegetables.

Pie for real fruit. 

White rice for brown... 

Hopefully my chef (the father) will be sympathetic to my needs. 

So long, everything white. My tastebuds will miss you.

For Big Mistakes: Part Deux

Keeping on the same subject I wrote about yesterday, I read something that has changed my view on "mistakes."

From Sarah Young's Jesus Calling

Make friends with the problems in your life. Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust me.
The best way to befriend your problems is to thank me for them. This simple act opens your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from  your difficulties. You can even give persistent problems nicknames, helping you approach them with familiarity rather than dread. The next step is to introduce them to Me, enabling Me to embrace them in My loving Presence. I will not necessarily remove your problems, but my wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one of them. 

Friends! Here it is. We are in no need of a big eraser for our mistakes and problems.
Just in need of perspective and the ability to find joy and trust even in low and awful circumstances.

For Big Mistakes

I was at the doctor Friday morning and the nurse had an eraser like the one above on her desk.

At this moment, I wish I had one. But instead for pencil, I need one for life.

I'm having one of those multiple hand-to-head moments that concludes with yelling silently, "WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!?"

It's just one those days where I'm constantly churning the details about what I did, how I did it, and WHY.

WHY CAN'T I BE NORMAL?! (insert whining and slow death) 

I hope I'm not alone. That you've had similar situations in life where you could tell yourself to stop talking. That you could do something over again and you promise to yourself that you'd do it differently.

So how do you deal with that? The internal battle of "if I could just go back."

I'm thinking out loud but I'm guessing there's acceptance involved. And hope that if it's meant to be, you'll have another chance. And if it's meant to be, the mistakes will be accepted and nervousness, excitement, maybe even thought of as "cute"? Possibly farfetched but I'm optimistic.

I'm praying that the feeling will subside and I'll look at the past situation for what it is and do all that I can do. Give it up to the Man above. 

Any advice? Pity? Words of consolation?





Note to readers: I hope you laughed at least once. 

Spill the beans.

I'm not sure when it began, but I've also felt the need to cover up my flaws and insecurities. 

When people try to describe me as sophisticated or put together, I silently think, "WHAT?" 

I am not any of those things. If you really knew me, you'd know I'm clumsy, and awkward situation-prone, obnoxious at times and far from poised. 

But the fact that this is little known is not their fault; it's mine.

I don't let the real me show. After all, impressions are everything. 

Earlier this week, I had dinner with a very best friend and felt convicted to tell her one of my biggest secrets. Sadly, she has been my friend for four years and I've covered it up the whole time. I was scared! Nervous. 

What if she doesn't like me anymore? What if she doesn't see me the same? 

She was surprised. "Nincy, you've got to open up about things like this!" 

Can you relate? 

I challenge you to be honest. With yourself and others. Confess your flaws and allow people in your life to really know you! No need to spill the beans all at once (unless you want to, then way to go!).

I don't want to be artificial. 

I keep my relationships few and I want them all to be real. Let them all know the one Nincy--funny and flawed. 

I'm spilling beans all over the place.