Para familia.

Thankful for children that can entertain themselves. For children that ask why. That want to know what patience means. That don't mind if their princess wand is broken. For an 8 year old that wants to dress up like her 4-year-old sister. For nosebleeds that aren't worrisome. For a tickle fight that can cheer up any sullen baby boy. A smart yet innocent 12-year-old. For generations past that show up again in the present, reminding us that life is just one big circle.

For family.

Not exactly wedded bliss.

Last Wednesday, my parents celebrated 27 years of marriage.

Witnessing most of it, I can tell you that it hasn't been easy or fun all the time.
However, it's a perfect example of a redeemed marriage. Though there's been turmoil, there is no giving up. I used to resent them for that but now I admire them.


It takes strength, endurance and love to keep pressing on with someone that's getting on your last nerve. 

I don't know much about this topic but because of them, I know you don't give up.

They've grown a lot in recent years, partially because they recognize it's going to be just them very soon. I'm so proud of them.

Practicing my counting.

1. A weekend with family that can't keep their eyes open even if they tried. 

 2. Rich desserts that one cannot finish by themselves.

 3. Friends that just stop by.

 4. Dog naps.

 5. And hours that I could use to finish a good book (Mockingjay).

Count your many blessings. Name them one by one.

Taj Mahal or bust.

It's done.

I'm going to India in December!

I haven't been to the motherland in about 7 years and I miss it. That might be just nostaglia talking but we'll find out soon enough. I'll spend most of my time in Kerala (the jungle and rice paddies) but am hoping to see Taj Mahal and other sights on this trip.

It's sad that I've lived there and taken plenty of trips but never seen this wonder of the world.
At least that will change before 2013!

Other things I want to see and take pictures of:

Houseboat
Teak
Carved wood
Banana tree
The clothing store
A sari heap
Home
My grandmother (aka: my future)
Sunrise
Sunset
The fish market

My heart's leaping in excitement just thinking about all this.
Can't wait to share all of this with all of you!

Let's hope I don't get dehydrated/food poisoning/infections/lice.
Sadly, I've been there and done that and do not want to do it again.

Conversations with my dad.

I bought an iPhone yesterday. My paranoid self couldn't decide if I was excited or scared. It's a big purchase and I was worried if I could afford it.

I shared my phone and concern with my dad and he asked...


"Why are you scared, child? You know what's scary? Making $3.25 an hour, having two children under 2 and finding out your mom needed surgery. But I had faith. God would take care of us if it was His will. He'll take care of you, too." 

His story belittled my problem in a good way. I wondered if the "He" my dad was talking about was God or himself. I think both.

A word from the wise-faith.

In hindsight

Last night, I was at watch night service with the rest of my church family and was looking forward to sharing my testimony--how the Lord has guided and provided for me this year. I wasn't able to so I thought I'd share my story here.

I've briefly talked about it before but it started with graduating from college with a degree in journalism from Baylor University. I wish I could say I was happy that day but it one of the most frightening days of my life.

I graduated with a degree that my family didn't want me to get.
From a school they didn't want me to go to.

And what they said would happen, did happen. I didn't have a job and in six months, I was to start paying back student loans.

But that wasn't the scary part.

I had to move back home. My plans of moving to Austin with my best friend were thwarted by the economic climate (and UT kids taking all the jobs there).

What came after were months of rage, depression, anger, anxiety and loneliness. I was extremely angry with God for where he was taking my life. I took the rage out on my family, making for tense living arrangements and for relationships that were only hanging by a thread.

In hindsight, their love and patience astound me. My family was unconditional and steady when almost nothing in my life was. It brings me to tears to think of what I put them through. I can say that I'm thankful but that doesn't begin to explain the feeling. 


I started looking for jobs in January and I didn't find one. February came and went. Then it was March. I was tired, weary and at the end of my rope with God. My relationship with Him was nil. I was desperate and a friend suggested that I go back to Him. I started re-reading The Purpose Driven Life and keeping a prayer journal, to remind me of what I was asking for and how God was answering my prayers.

In hindsight, I know that God was testing my faith. I did not depend on him to meet my needs. I thought I could do everything on my own. He had to pull me back and though the wilderness was brutal, I couldn't have asked for a more God-filled year. His presence has been overwhelming. I know He's orchestrating something beautiful and I'm just one piece. My job is to answer His call and be His face on this earth. Though I stumble and fall, He will catch me on put me back on my feet. He always has.

In April, I found a great job. I still live at home and it's been hard at times but great. I'm so happy I got the opportunity to rekindle my relationship with my family after being gone for so long. I still have my best friends but I have new friends, too.

If your life seems like its falling and nothing is going right, it's probably because you weren't going the right way in the first place. Fall towards God. He will make your ways straight. His plan is better. And with Him, you have nothing to lose.

I want you to be all mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests me on me alone--not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on me may seem like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to me. I am always before you, beckoning you on.--one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving presence. 
-Sarah Young, Jesus Calling 

Swiping that Visa never felt so good.

With a job (and money), I've had the pleasure of picking, buying, and wrapping gifts for my family this year and it's put me in a cheery mood.
Is there anything better than giving when you don't have to? Giving out of choice, not obligation? It's one of the best rewards from having a salary this past year--no joke!
It hasn't been all great. Here's the not so fun parts.
1. Getting to the check out counter and finding out it's the cashier's first day.
2. Thinking that I'm all done shopping and ready to head home when I remember that I forgot to get a gift receipt.
3. Buying a toy, getting in the car, then realizing I didn't get the sale price.

Don't forget to give this Christmas. To your family, strangers and those in most need. You were also given a great Gift, and not because He had to.

My brother.

My brother cooks.
My brother bakes.
My brother thinks he's got looks.

He sings alright.
He reads a lot.
He'll beat me up for this poem,
Oh yes, he might.

His room is always clean.
His bed is always made.
I watch TV with him if he's not being mean.

My brother's younger than me.
Sometimes I can't tell either.
He's rubbed off in many ways,
Because of him, I'm a techie.

He makes fun of our mom.
He loves our dog.
He often compares her to a baby, which is SO wrong.

My brother, he puts up with lots.
My brother, he's so weird.
My brother, I love him.
NOT.

Distractions from the North

For the last week, I was given the awesome opportunity to push back my anxieties about D.C and take a trip to Canada for my cousin's wedding reception.

For four and half days, all I did was catch up with long lost cousins and have a BLAST doing it. My cousins and I were born in the span of 7 years and with the drinking age in Canada being only 19, we were able to enjoy mature fun though we aren't that mature.

Ontario was beautiful, reminded me of the Bay Area. Though I was disappointed that I didn't run into one person with a Canadian accent. No eh. No weird "about". I did become a fan of Tim Horton's though I was skeptical.

Coming back to Dallas with only 3 days left until D.C is difficult to say the least. The days cannot pass by fast/slow enough. I'm halfway packed though I feel like I'm forgetting a lot.

Good news: with NY only 4 hours away from D.C., visits will be often. I also found a friend from TX that is in D.C for an internship as well! She lives minutes a way and will make this transition much easier. I've also been learning the metro route maps and I'm pretty sure I know how to get home and to work.

Great news: I've upgraded my wardrobe from scrubby college student to becoming intern in the city. I have the right shoes, slacks, tops, and my first skirt. Shocking, I know. I'm ready to take over I tell you!

Side note: Lucy had her puppies. All two of them. And very fitting, she had them the day I left for Canada. Oh, she was waiting. I wasn't as depressed as I thought I would be and they were still puppies when I came back.

Here's to the next few days. I'll be investing in (another) camera and trying to absorb as much of Dallas as I can--whatever that means.

Another note: I will not miss the intermittent internet at home or the scalding 100 degree weather.

Things I'll miss.

D.C. is now two weeks away and while much will happen in these fourteen days (including an unplanned trip to Canada), I've had the time to reflect on what I'll be missing here in TX.

--my parent's cooking. Really, nothing compares. For the most part, I don't have to help in cooking. Meaning a free meal. I just sit when they call e and pick from the display. Whatever my heart desires. I never take this for granted.

--Lucy's pups. Lucy, my dog, is pregnant. She shouldn't be. The dog was a stray chihuahua that somehow crawled through our fence, knocked up my precious min pin and then left. She's expecting anytime now, but realistically, I'm sure the pups will only be born after two weeks.

--my cousins' baby showers. After five years of weddings, the wedded couples are now having families. Both are having baby girls and sadly, I won't be here to celebrate over onesies, baby bibs, and those cute dresses they have for baby girls now.

Family is important to me, and being so far away is going to be hard.

Maybe the sights and sounds of D.C will make it easier to deal? Maybe.