Showing posts with label indian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label indian. Show all posts

15 September 2013

The tiara that changes everything.

I'd be freaking out, too! Courtesy of Miss America


I learned that an Indian girl won Miss America via Snapchat (sign of the times). Since then, I've spent the last 30 minutes making sure this was ACTUALLY TRUE.

Let me tell you why this is huge.

The woman is BROWN. You're thinking, "Uh yeah Nincy, we know."

You also probably know that Indians by and large are not interested in staying their skin color. Being dark or brown is an insult. We want to be lighter, we want to be white, we want to be fair. It's an unfair standard that's been part of our culture for centuries and it tears our society apart (especially when 96% of us are not fair).

Dark is Beautiful is one of the many campaigns trying to change this impossible double standard but it's not easy to change something that we've been bred to believe.

Well, Nina Davuluri** has shook the ground.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where color didn't matter. Beauty fades but no one can take your brain which is why my parents only praised my intelligence--not my cute outfit for the day. My parents also didn't keep me from playing outside in fear that the sun would make their daughter unmarriageable. But that didn't keep me from doubting. It didn't keep me from looking in the mirror and wishing I could wash "the brown" off.

The now-Miss America when she was competing for Miss New York.

I was bullied for being dark/ugly when I was 12. It was in India, ironically, and it was the first time I even considered my skin color as inferior. That's where my obsession with fairness began. I would layer on the Fair and Lovely before walking to school in the sweltering heat in hopes of being pretty. Even after moving back home to Texas,  I would steal the turmeric from the kitchen and bathe in it night after night. (Yes Mom, that's where all the munyull went.)

Though the thought of being inferior (and fear of getting darker) is always there, I don't let it stunt my life (Yeah, I sunbathed during my vacation in FL). But I'm hopeful that, with this kind of win for the Brown, my future daughter will never have to think twice about it.

Because Dark is Beautiful. Thank you Nina and Miss America for making that real tonight. I pray that India and Indians all take notice.

Nina is more than just a pretty lady. This young woman is on her way to being a doctor. She's a talented dancer who was battled bullimia and weight before making it to Miss America. She is a remarkable person and this is a definite win for every little girl who's ever noticed that she's different.

You go, girl.

**Disclaimer: I don't know Nina Davuluri. In my brief time researching, I'm aware that she's probably not a perfect person but that doesn't make this win any less encouraging for the millions of women out there who have been told that they are not beautiful or worthy because of the color of their skin. Any negative or harsh comments that don't encourage conversation will be deleted. 

Follow on Bloglovin

Never miss a post! Subscribe to The Daily Inspired.

11 June 2012

The talk.

I came into the living room flaunting the new skirt I bought for India.


How naive of me. 
The next thing I know my dad throws out the ultimatum I've been fearing.
"Either you go back to school or find someone to marry."
I chuckle.
He doesn't. 
"Nincy, this is not a laughing matter. You need to do one or the other." 
Tantrum begins.

I'll be honest, I understand where my dad is coming from. He doesn't want me to live under his house forever. And I have been getting quite comfortable the 1.5 years I've been there. 

School is my choice though I'm dragging myself to take the GMAT. 
(Oh Managerial Accounting, why must you be a requirement for an MBA?) 



But if you don't mind, I'd like to talk about this pushing of the daughter down the aisle. 
At the moment, I'm happily single. 
I'm using this season of my life to accomplish God's work.  I've come to treasure this season as a gift; it's a priceless time to invest in myself and have some fun. 
Sure, I get lonely and a boyfriend would be helpful for wedding dates, holidays, formal events and movie nights. 
But I'm OK.


My life is not put on pause because I'm not married.  I have many of the same joys and heartbreaks as the girl who is married next to me. 



So I speak for the single. 
We are normal.
We are embracing this season of life. 
We have no problem with marriage, it's just not for now.

And that's OK.
In fact, it is good.

To my friends and acquaintances who are wondering how in the world I can be happy without getting my  MRS degree from the school that seems to give them out freely:

The source of happiness is skewed.
Proudly displaying a MRS degree does not mean happiness.
Happiness is not a boy.

I am normal.
A man does not fulfill nor complete me.
Nor does he define my future.
And don't set me up with your cousin. (Unless he really is my type, then fine.)


Instead, lets talk about politics, blogs, fashion, movies and all the other things that I enjoy... just like you.