04 July 2015

My Anchor, My Lord

from treehousetheaternyc.com
I'm a water baby, I'm sure of it. I'm only learning how to swim now at age 26 but I never allowed my fear or inability to stay above water keep me from getting wet. However, I realize that unless I want to increase my odds of dying, I should learn. I started taking classes about a month ago and I'm so proud of my progress! My teacher called it a miracle and I'd agree with her, especially since I was terrified to get my face wet that first class and today I floated on my own!

Every class is a crossroad of faith. How much deeper am I going to go? Am I going to trust myself? My instructor? The water? The feeling I had floating today symbolized the trust I have to take off of myself and put on the Lord.

I think about Peter, who Jesus called out onto the water. At first, he begins walking and then forgets-- his faith transfers from Jesus to himself which cannot keep him up. He begins to sink. I know that feeling, both emotionally and now physically. Below are thoughts that were swimming in my head about this feeling and the truth of Christ. Recently I've been convicted of our generation's over-leniency on prayer. Don't get me wrong, prayer is an intimate and wonderful thing, but we can use it as a crutch to keep ourselves from acting out in faith. What would happen if we just DID a little more? I'm trying to live that out in my own life, no more crippling myself or God by waiting for some sign when the fact that God not closing the door is sign enough! I hope you'll have faith to dive in head first with me, friend.

I need my feet to touch the floor
But you say no.
Head first, arms straight,
Dive in, I've got you.
But God.
I close my eyes and forget.
My legs sink like a needle point.
I lose my footing.
The water rises,
He catches me.

My child, trust me.
But God, I say.
I need to be grounded.
I need to know what's below me.
I'm below you, He says.
I'm all around you.
I'm your anchor.

I won't let go, I can't let go.
Fear not, for I created all of this.
So dive in, head first.

Faith in your feet, you'll sink.
Faith in me, you'll soar.
In the midst of waves crashing,
Waters rising,
Truth remains.
I'm your anchor.
Stay tied to me and you cannot drown.

25 December 2014

The Wonder of Christmas


wonder: the feeling of surprise mingled with admiration, caused by something beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, or inexplicable.

I spoke about this feeling last Sunday, albeit imperfectly, and questioned whether we experience Christmas in wonder of what happened some thousands of years ago or have we become desensitized to the Christmas story. 

The birth of Christ is also an event full of scandal, danger, death, and conflict. It's a story about the God of the Universe leaving his throne and coming down to Earth in the form of a helpless infant who cannot do anything by himself, but depends on others for its every need. He came down because He loved His people so much that he could not let them be. He came down to die a death that He didn't deserve and we so rightfully did.

He came to earth in the most ordinary way possible. Not as a king but as a baby. In that same way, you can see God is in our lives, not only in the dramatic but in the ordinary moments where He's teaching us about grace and showing it to others and to ourselves. 

I hope this Christmas, you wake up with a sense of wonder. Jesus' birth was beautiful, unexpected, unfamiliar, and inexplicable for those who did not know Him and I hope that you fall on your knees from the crushing wave of gladness in your heart that comes from knowing that the King was born and the world would never be the same. 

And to end, here's a modern day reminder of the wonder of Christmas. I was in awe of this person I met earlier this year, who chased a dream despite the cost and below is something he's been working on. It captures the gravity of Christ entering the world so well, you have to watch it! 


ANOMALY from ANOMALY on Vimeo.

Merry Christmas, friends.

02 September 2014

Well said.

They say to write well, you have to read. So here's some things I've read today that I don't want to forget and I'm eager to share.

From Bob Goff's Love Does:
"If Jesus has taught me anything, it's that sometimes you can really want to know somebody and it takes them forever to want to know you back."
"I used to think God guided us by opening and closing doors, but now I know sometimes God wants us to kick some doors down."
And my most favorite quote from the book so far:
"Ryan's love was audacious. It was whimsical. It was strategic. Most of all, it was contagious. Watching Ryan lose himself in love reminded me that being "engaged" isn't just an event that happens when a guy gets on one knee and puts a ring on his true love's finger. Being engaged is a way of doing life, a way of living and loving. It's about going to extremes and expressing the bright hope that life offers us, a hope that makes us brave and expels darkness with light. That's what I want my life to be all about -- full of abandon, whimsy and in love. I want to be engaged to life and with life."
 From Relevant Magazine:


The word “happy” appears six times in the Bible, none of those in reference to God’s intention for your life. Happiness is almost always tied to the present. If we constantly lived for our current happiness, what a miserable life most of us would have. How many times has something awesome birthed from something not so awesome? The good news for you and me is that God is much more concerned with lasting qualities such as joy and peace. Those qualities are unaffected by the fragility of life.

And lastly, from C.S Lewis:
I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God's thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and the most precious thing in all thinking. 

15 August 2014

Munchkin Birthdays

My munchkin is turning 4 in just a couple of days. I can't remember life without her. Actually, I do. It was much quieter and I didn't use my imagination as much. But Suraya has opened the world of adventure and pretend back up for me. We ride in corner elevators together (actually the corner of a hallway) and sing our own music. We tiptoe into rooms so the sleeping tiger or lion doesn't hear us. Somehow he always does and we run out of the room screaming for our lives. We sing the songs in Frozen over and over again though we don't know the words.We ride through the sky with a five foot high view and take stops in Houston, Dallas, and New York along the way.

Don't get me wrong -- she has her tantrums when she doesn't get the ketchup bottle when she asks for it or I don't give her the red crayon when she demands it. But two minutes later, she's promising me a spot in her bridal party and trying a new hue of lip gloss on me.

Reminiscing on the joy she's brought me in her young life reminds me of the little ones I met in Mumbai a little more than a year ago. Their smiles are so alike though their circumstances couldn't be more different.
Their smiles are so alike though their circumstances couldn't be more different.
These children have hope because of the special people in their lives-- whether that be parents or a compassionate servant-- they are people who consider the child and his or her life as significant. As a result, instead of worshiping a tribal statue, she will know the Lord. And instead of settling for a life as a laborer, he can go to college. 

They have the opportunity, like Su, to reach past that glass ceiling and seize their dreams whatever that might be. I'm not sure when their birthdays are but I hope its full of the same love, joy and memories that Su's will be. Either way, I'm thinking about them.

13 June 2014

My Dad, My Hero

My dad is not a perfect man by any means, he'll tell you that himself. But it's how he's conquered life and broken free from things that held him back that makes him a hero in my book.

I've grown more and more proud of my dad especially in the past year when he made a decision that changed his life and our family's forever.

He's a living testimony to the fact that you're never too old to change, improve and get better. Most of all, he is proof that God can break through the hardest of hearts and years with of shame and pain.

I think it's a daughter thing-- we want to believe our dads are these invincible people who can fix anything and rescue us from any trouble. There's many times I've put my dad on a pedestal which never worked. As you get to know your dad or any one in your family, disappointments happen and imperfections show through. You see that dad isn't as invincible or mighty as you thought.

Dads don't belong on a pedestal --they belong at our side. I now look at my dad as a human being who's advice and guidance is only there to bless me and who's love is more constant than anyone else in my life. He messes up but so do I and if I expect forgiveness, I have to be willing to give it, too.

He's my biggest fan and I am his and I couldn't be more proud of him as Father's Day approaches. If all goes well, he has the perfect present in store this weekend and I can't wait to see his face! (I'll make sure to post a picture.)

Happy Father's Day to all the Dads out there. 
Thank you for being our heroes. 

01 May 2014

A Day's Worth of Grace

I've been listening to Kathy Keller (The "Other" Keller) talk about singleness and relationships. She ended with the excerpt from Betsy Childs' post, Marriage and Celibacy. I think it will be encouraging to both married and single friends.

While marriage and celibacy may technically be opposites, they have at least one thing in common. Both can seem overwhelming when one imagines them lasting for a lifetime.
Even if you deeply love your spouse, the thought of putting up with his or her foibles or coldness or chaos every day for the rest of your life may be enough to make your hyperventilate. Likewise, those who have chosen to lead a celibate life may be happy in their friendships, their church, and their work, but when they peer into the future, the frightening prospect of growing old alone overshadows the mercies provided in the present.
If the thought of enduring your marriage or lack of marriage for the rest of your life is daunting, it is because God doesn’t hand out grace in a lifetime supply. He provides it one day at a time. If you feel like God has not given you the capacity to love your spouse for a lifetime, that’s because he hasn’t. But he has given you exactly what you need to be loving today. Furthermore, God has not given celibates the grace to bear a lifetime of solitude. But he will give you what you need to make it through this day.
God will give us what we need, but he will not give it to us until we need it. He didn’t give the Israelites enough food to last through forty years in the wilderness; he gave them manna one day at a time. None of us has a lifelong stockpile of grace, but we can look forward to God’s faithfulness over a lifetime, offered to us one day at a time. 

24 April 2014

My mama

This is not another obligatory post about my mom. Mother's Day is around the corner but my mom has been on my mind for other reasons.

This year, she made the decision to go back to school for her Bachelor's in Nursing. Like your mom (or most Indian women you may know), she completed her associate's degree and started working as a registered nurse. But standards in healthcare are changing and moms like mine are having to go back to school (after almost 30 years) to get their bachelor's degree if they want to continue working as a nurse.

I should add that I have nothing against this new standard but for my mom, it's hard. I think about the papers she'll have to write, tests she'll have to study for, assignments she'll have to do every week... It's stressful enough without the added complexity of learning how to write paper, what APA format is, and computer skills all at the same time.

But my mom is doing it. She's TACKLING it. In fact, I'm the one hiding under the covers, paralyzed by the hurdles in front of her and my mom is poised for battle. Bring it on, teach.

I didn't think my mom could make me any more proud. After 25 years, I thought I'd seen her do it all but she continues to amaze me. She gives me courage to not back down or allow an inconvenience keep me from achieving great things.

I'm so blessed to not have to look at the world for a role model. Mine is sitting across the kitchen table.




25 March 2014

God Is Just Not Fair


I am so mad at God.
I've said it before. Maybe you have, too.

"I'm mad that I'm still single/sick/unemployed/fat/in a horrible marriage."

Just insert your current problem or need right there.

For a long time, I thought I had every right to be mad at God. We think we're entitled to that anger. Because God is supposed to give me what I want... isn't he?

You feel a lesson coming on? So did I when I approached this chapter in Jennifer Rothschild's new book, God Is Just Not Fair: Finding Hope When Life Doesn't Make Sense. 

Jennifer picks apart the common thoughts and questions we often have after life disappoints us and the God that is supposed to be close to our hearts feels so distant.

When things don't go our way, we assert this right to be upset with God, but Jennifer turns to scripture to unmask what the anger really is.

"Sometimes when we indulge what we call our right to be angry at God, what we're really doing is casting a thin veil over envy instead. Deep down, we are jealous that God is seemingly generous to someone else but not us."
That sounds harsh but sometimes, the truth is. 

The thing is, if we believe that our God is supreme, ruling over this universe and everything in it, he has the right to do or allow whatever he pleases. I may not understand the why, but I trust Him and praise Him because…

"We don't base our gratitude or praise exclusively on what we receive or do not receive from God. God  deserves our praise and gratitude because of who God is."
Let that sink in for a second. You may even want to re-read it. This is so contrary to our human and selfish ways but God deserves your thankfulness in all circumstances.

Jennifer's book unpacks these thoughts in a way that will make sense not only to your brain but to your heart. I cannot stress how important this book can be to your personal spiritual journey. It's brought me peace where my heart has been restless and without answers. I hope it can do the same for you.

If you've never heard of Jennifer… 
Jennifer and her family are good friends of mine. Jennifer went blind as a teenager when a disease took her sight. It blows me away that she never let her sight take her life. Jennifer is an accomplished woman! She's a wife, mother, author and talented singer, not to mention, one of the most genuine people you'll ever meet. As you can imagine, Jennifer's faith has been tested by her blindness (she talks about it in her book) which is why I'm so glad she's sharing her own experiences, struggles and revelations. Want to know more about her? Click here.

Disclosure: I received God Is Not Fair for free but the views and opinions I express here are my own.

18 September 2013

Keep Dreaming

25 is right around the corner. I love birthdays and like you, I get excited for my own. Since it is 25, I'm wondering if this is the last birthday that I can get excited for.

Really. What is after 25? I'm crossing society's final threshold. I'm now allowed to rent a car and my insurance rate will finally drop to something reasonable (I hope).

24 is young but I've still learned quite a few things. So I'm going to share them once a week until October 27 is finally here.

So Lesson #1. Keep Dreaming.


I've always been an idealist. The kind of person that eat rainbows and poops butterflies (quoting Dr. Suess here). It can drive my family, friends, and me a bit nuts but I will always dream big dreams.

My dreams are what made me write the President when he was a Senator and tell him that I hope he runs for office. I received a letter back from him not too long after--a treasure whether you lean left or right.


My dreams are what made me apply for a summer internship in Washington, D.C. when I was in college. I met lifetime friends and learned so much about life on the Hill and off.

Dreams don't always come true and I'm thankful for that-- I wouldn't change the sequence of my life for anything. The blessings are too big to compare to the blips of disappointment and heartache.

But I've also seen that the happiest and most grounded people are the ones who continue to put goals in front of them.

When you're out of college, it's up to you to create dreams for yourself. It's a crossroad for most people--am I done or do I keep going? 

KEEP GOING. I wanted to quit when I graduated college with a pile of debt and no job. I was convinced that there was no way that I was going to become a writer. Three years later I'm writing and still dreaming. 

Successful people have goals for themselves. It's not elementary to keep a journal or write out a 3, 5 or 10 year plan. Instead it shows that you're not willing to settle for the present--you expect more from yourself and your life then just the current predicament.

So go, dream away!

15 September 2013

The tiara that changes everything.

I'd be freaking out, too! Courtesy of Miss America


I learned that an Indian girl won Miss America via Snapchat (sign of the times). Since then, I've spent the last 30 minutes making sure this was ACTUALLY TRUE.

Let me tell you why this is huge.

The woman is BROWN. You're thinking, "Uh yeah Nincy, we know."

You also probably know that Indians by and large are not interested in staying their skin color. Being dark or brown is an insult. We want to be lighter, we want to be white, we want to be fair. It's an unfair standard that's been part of our culture for centuries and it tears our society apart (especially when 96% of us are not fair).

Dark is Beautiful is one of the many campaigns trying to change this impossible double standard but it's not easy to change something that we've been bred to believe.

Well, Nina Davuluri** has shook the ground.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a family where color didn't matter. Beauty fades but no one can take your brain which is why my parents only praised my intelligence--not my cute outfit for the day. My parents also didn't keep me from playing outside in fear that the sun would make their daughter unmarriageable. But that didn't keep me from doubting. It didn't keep me from looking in the mirror and wishing I could wash "the brown" off.

The now-Miss America when she was competing for Miss New York.

I was bullied for being dark/ugly when I was 12. It was in India, ironically, and it was the first time I even considered my skin color as inferior. That's where my obsession with fairness began. I would layer on the Fair and Lovely before walking to school in the sweltering heat in hopes of being pretty. Even after moving back home to Texas,  I would steal the turmeric from the kitchen and bathe in it night after night. (Yes Mom, that's where all the munyull went.)

Though the thought of being inferior (and fear of getting darker) is always there, I don't let it stunt my life (Yeah, I sunbathed during my vacation in FL). But I'm hopeful that, with this kind of win for the Brown, my future daughter will never have to think twice about it.

Because Dark is Beautiful. Thank you Nina and Miss America for making that real tonight. I pray that India and Indians all take notice.

Nina is more than just a pretty lady. This young woman is on her way to being a doctor. She's a talented dancer who was battled bullimia and weight before making it to Miss America. She is a remarkable person and this is a definite win for every little girl who's ever noticed that she's different.

You go, girl.

**Disclaimer: I don't know Nina Davuluri. In my brief time researching, I'm aware that she's probably not a perfect person but that doesn't make this win any less encouraging for the millions of women out there who have been told that they are not beautiful or worthy because of the color of their skin. Any negative or harsh comments that don't encourage conversation will be deleted. 

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10 September 2013

The mind is a battlefield.

My mind runs 1000 miles an hour. I often stumble on my words because my mouth can't keep pace. That can be embarrassing but not as harmful as what my mind can do to my self-esteem.

We are our own worst enemies. 

We have those days when we don't feel as confident as usual. But do you become self-conscious and insecure that it stunts you?

Yesterday wasn't the best day. Getting Invisalign has been an adjustment. I'm two weeks in and got attachments (little pieces of composite the ortho puts on your teeth to assist with the shifting of them). Well, he might as well put black soot in my mouth from the way I was acting.

I was feeling insecure (normal feeling) and not myself (also normal) but I allowed myself to degrade who I was because of how I felt (not normal).

For me, it's my teeth. For you, it might be a bad haircut, a lip sore, whatever.

I'm publishing this at the risk of sounding vain, but the truth is, we have bad days--14 or 24--that are caused by little things in retrospect but big things in our heads.

Dove has an awesome campaign called Real Beauty Sketches. I would be no different from these women who are unforgiving and harsh critics of their own looks. I'm challenging myself to change that. Join me!

http://dove.com/realbeautysketches


09 September 2013

Happy Monday.

When your best friends live hundreds of miles away, you improvise. That's why Caroline and I email back and forth throughout the week to talk about serious (and not so serious) things. 

Her email came in this morning and it read, "Happy Monday! Wait, no. not happy Monday. I forgot that we aren't supposed to like Mondays." 

I let out a laugh and thought about how ridiculous it is.

I don't like the alarm waking me up before I'm ready either, but the day has a lot of great things waiting for me. 

A job I love, a class (that will eventually lead to a degree), time with friends, and HELLO--another day of life. To breathe, laugh, think and just live. I don't care what's happening today. There is at least one thing you can thank God for. 

You can never take enough time to count your blessings. 
So HAPPY MONDAY TO YOU, FRIENDS.

11 July 2013

Don't go to Mumbai.

Don't go to Mumbai if you're not ready for your life to turn upside down. If you don't want to see your dreams to fade away like dust
because you realize that there's little meaning in anything that doesn't glorify God and expand His kingdom.

Don't go if you're not ready to see the Church alive and growing,
to see what the first church was probably like.
People sharing everything they have, none of them lacking in anything.

Don't go to Mumbai if you're not ready to see people healed and families transformed because
of what the Holy Spirit has done for the new believer.

Don't go if you're not interested in hearing about the visions they've had and the miracles they've witnessed.

Don't go to Mumbai if you're can't hear about people being persecuted for their belief and standing up for Christ--boldly and courageously proclaiming their faith through beatings and the mocking of people who were once their family.

Don't go to Mumbai if you think the women who stand outside the brothels waiting for their next customer are getting what they deserve and aren't worthy of the Gospel.
Don't go if you don't believe their children should have the chance for a better life.

Lastly, don't go to Mumbai if you don't want your faith tested and your Spirit convicted.


Church, these people have less than we can imagine. For many of them, their only possessions are the clothes on their back and the shoes on their feet. Education is a luxury.

But they have what many of us don't.
JOY in knowing that God doesn't count their treasures on earth but is hoarding them in Heaven.
CONTENTMENT in their salvation and the amazing grace that flows freely from the God that loves them.
PEACE in where they are in life, because God's purpose and will is not and cannot be broken or changed by earthly things.

Their faith is unwavering and constant. They may only make a few rupees after hours of labor, but unlike us, they don't cheat God from what belongs to him. I saw people give 10 rupees in the collection plate.

Ten rupees. That's how much you and I give on a normal Sunday. You and I. Who sleep on elevated and cush beds, have central heated and cooled homes, who can eat and buy as much as we wish.

Don't go to Mumbai if you're not ready for your life to change. Because it will change.
Mine did.

25 June 2013

Who throws the first stone?



"Women are worshipped as goddesses and treated as dirt."

Dolly Jacob, a social worker for Navjeevan gave us an inside look on why prostitution and sex trafficking not only exists, but succeeds in Mumbai.

The moment they are born, they are seen as a burden. So abortion and infanticide is all around. What they forgot to think about is how that may affect how many women there would be left to marry.

What I failed to understand is most women are not here out of choice but out of no choice. They come to Mumbai from all over (a huge population from Nepal) because of a promise of a good job or marriage, but then are sold to brothels. They are sold based on their age and beauty for an average of Rs.3000 to 1 lakh ($50-$1700).

The women are not able to escape until the brothel owner earns 20x more than what they paid. If girls are not willing, they are gang raped while being held down by other prostitutes.

When minors are trafficked, they are hidden from the public. They'll never leave their rooms that are often hidden behind cupboards and walls.

The average day for a prostitute includes 20 men. Ten during the day and ten at night. You would think that would mean the woman would make enough money fast enough to escape, but a lack of education and manipulation by the pimp, he will lie to her about how much she actually makes.

Once a woman becomes "smart," she is set free. But with no where to go and no family that will accept her, she choose to continue life in the red light area. And the cycle continues.
Prostitution is a supply-demand system. The demand comes from society. So why do we condemn the prostitute and not society?

Where Navjeevan comes in
Navjeevan creates a haven for the prostitute and their children. In fact, Navjeevan's vision is that the rescued themselves will manage the facility and become its directors, social workers and teachers.

Navjeevan wants these women to get out of the brothels and become contributing people of society. However, finding a job is a struggle because they have no documentation--no way to prove they are citizens. Which leads me to the government. There is no government program that supports these women. In fact, many political leaders spread the lie that because there are red light areas, your child is safe.

The social workers of Navjeevan teach the women basic skills--how to count, add and multiply. They give them hope of a life outside of Kamathipura. A life of dignity. The kind of life Christ paid the price for.

Boys of Navjeevan
We saw Dolly's words come to life shortly after. About 20 boys from the Navjeevan extension home joined us for dinner and fellowship. These boys were no different from guys back home, except they were more polite, cuter and could dance. The Navjeevan extension home is where youth who are in college and employed have an opportunity to live after they finish grade school. There are four in Mumbai, two for boys and two for girls. They live together, cook and clean for themselves and become responsible adults. We heard from Shankar who lived in an abusive home until his mother finally left and from Anil who lived on the streets of Mumbai until the Navjeevan Centre found him and gave him a home.

Because these boys are prone to exploitation by those who learn of their situation, I can't publish any photos of them. But trust me, we had a good time. I don't think I've ever laughed so much in my life.



Navjeevan is breaking the cycle of prostitution and poverty. It's giving new life.


21 June 2013

Mumbai-Day २, Part 1

Note: Day Two was a big day and I'll confuse you if I put it all in one post. So here's the first part.
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Day Two is when we met K.C Chacko Achen (Achen means Father). Achen is a dedicated missionary. Though he is Malayalee (from Kerala, India), he is dedicated to the mission fields and villages of Maharashtra and at this point, he's the only Achen that can conduct a Holy Communion Service in Marathi. Huge deal. 
K.C Chacko Achen (and three little ones from the hostel in Nalla Sopara)


K.C. Chacko Achen's church!

He took us to his parish in Nalla Sopara, about an hour and a half from Navi Mumbai. We got there just in time to meet with the 40-something evangelists from all over Maharashtra. They came for a monthly meeting and took time to worship with us and tell us about the villages they serve. Most of them serve from 13-30 villages EACH. They look over worship centers, Sunday schools, bible studies and organize baptisms. From my count, there are more than 1000 baptized believers and still more coming to know Christ! 

That's just unbelievable. Praise God. His church is growing and flourishing even still! Some of these villages see opposition from unbelievers but most welcome their belief. Why? Because families are transformed. Domestic violence and abuse disappears. Girls are being educated instead of kept in the house. They are seen as a prize and not as a possession or burden. 

I can't explain, my heart is full just thinking on these things. The Gospel, The Good News--it's real here. It really is GOOD NEWS.

So Nalla Sopara also has a hostel, the Daya Niketan Asharam. 


13 girls who wouldn't receive education otherwise, live here during the school year and get proper education. Below is a picture of the couple who leads the school and takes care of these kids. The three little ones in front: Their mom gave birth to four girls. When the fifth one was born and their father saw it was another girl, he abandoned them. When they were found, the one on the right was eating mud, the middle child was malnourished and the child on the left had a head full of lice. Their youngest sister died (and the fourth is not pictured here) but they are now well, have tummies that are full and are now going to school! A video of them singing is below. :) The song is Anoka Pyar Hai Yeshu Ka. They taught us this song before we left! It catchy. It's translation is God's love is so wonderful, oh so wonderful love. It's so tall, you can't get over it. It's so wide, you can't get around it. It's so deep, you can't get under it, oh so wonderful love.






We heard stories like these again and again the whole time we were there. Education is the key to eradicating poverty. It's wonderful to see the church giving these children the opportunity to change their lives.

20 June 2013

Vomiting words.

That's what I've been doing whenever someone has asked about my trip to Mumbai.

Honestly, I don't what to tell you. I don't how to describe with words what my eyes have seen. The beauty and horror that is stitched to my heart. So I'm going to try my best and hopefully it will come out in a readable fashion.

Makeshift bus station.
First off, I should reaffirm that there is a need in Mumbai. In all of India, as a matter of fact. A half a million (no exaggeration) NGOs have registered themselves in the area, claiming to be saving children, offering education and better lives for those in poverty, but many of them are just names. The money is going to no one who needs it. So friends, beware. If you have a heart for India and want to help a country that needs it so much, make sure you know where your money is going, because so much of it is not ending up in the right hands.

So the only way I can organize my thoughts is in days. Our days were extremely long and often blurred together. This was partly because life in India is not as planned and detailed as life here at home. K.C Chacko Achen (I'll introduce you to him later) said it best, "Our days are only as planned as far as we can see." And most of the time, you didn't see beyond the hour ahead of you. As frustrating as it was to not know how planned, packed or scheduled or was, it was liberating to not live by a watch but only by how much light we had left in the day.


Day 1


Looking out the window in Navi Mumbai or Thane District.

Finally in Mumbai at 3 AM. When we got off the plane, I was met with the smell of rotten potatoes mixed with body odor. A heavenly scent that said, "Welcome to the Motherland, Nincy. We missed you." I haven't been to India in 8 years and of course my memories blocked out the smells, chaos and squatting toilets. As I'm writing, there's sweat on my brow and my paper is curling from humidity--we're enjoying our only day of rest before traveling the whole state of Maharastra for the next ten days.

We are staying at the Diocesan Centre in Navi Mumbai. I may be wrong, but for each diocese we have a Thirumeni (a Bishop) overseeing its projects. In Mumbai, it is Thomas Mar Theethos.
Before breakfast, Thirumeni spent some time with us explaining the Mumbai diocese, its mission and projects. He explained that in most of these places, we're not going to be expected to do a certain thing, but to listen to the stories and testimonies of the first believers in these villages, and observe how and what the church is doing to grow His kingdom. In some ways, this was disheartening. I wanted to leave a mark; make a difference in the lives of these people. Only after did I realize, they were leaving their marks on me. 

Tomorrow we will be visiting Nalla Sopara, K.C Chacko Achen's parish and the Centre for Missological Studies. There we'll meet about 40 evangelists who serve in different villages and hamlets all over Maharastra. We'll also meet Dolly Jacob, a social worker and psychologist who works in the red light area of Mumbai. Dinner was a surprise--we met the boys of the Navajeevan Extension Home. Guys in their early 20s who were taken off the streets of Mumbai at a young age and given a chance to turn their lives around.

Are you overwhelmed? Yeah. And this was only DAY ONE. Now you know why I've been choking on words.

23 May 2013

9 days till.

Nine days until I'm on a plane (more than one) to Mumbai!

I can't believe this trip is here. First of all, I haven't packed. 

The group has started getting to know each other solely through Facebook messages. We're exchanging songs that we want to teach the kids and pulling our resources and talents together (anyone know how to play the guitar?). 

It's crazy and awe-inspiring to think that God can bring together a group of 10 that hardly know each other for His glory. I can't be too nervous simply because I know this venture is His plan. The first shock to my system will be the widening gap between the prosperity of the city and dire need of those in the slums. 

Continue to pray for us. We need it. 



21 May 2013

Ricky is 2.


If you didn't know that I love my dog, then you don't know me. 

Ricky was born in our house 2 years ago on Mother's Day--fitting. He was one of nine puppies but from the beginning, he stood out from the rest. With a white triangle spot on his neck, you couldn't miss him. For about a year, his ears did not fit and we wondered if the mutation that gave him extra toes on each leg would come back and bite us.

As pathetic as it sounds, he's my everything on this earth. The feelings he shows when he runs through the door with a crazy, wagging tail and a tongue flipping out of his mouth, ready to kiss me--that feeling is mutual. 



Happy Birthday to my little Ricky.

13 May 2013

What to do when you're verbally attacked

I've read many books, but not that one. 

I have no idea what to do when verbally attacked. That's why I started crying, stayed far away from the fellowship hall as possible and asked to go home right away. The rest of the day I spent hiding under the covers, replaying the--what seemed like hours--attack on a pure-hearted slideshow for Mother's Day.

I was upset, to say the least. And any time I retold the story to someone, my heart couldn't help but break all over again. I told myself that I'm never standing in front of the church or doing anything for it. What church deserves my enthusiasm and energy, my commitment, when it can't accept and appreciate a small, by no means perfect, show of love?

Then pride stepped out of the picture and Jesus came in. 

This morning, I remembered that I don't love the church. I don't even love the youth. What I love is Jesus. He's the reason I do what I do. He's the reason I will inconvenience myself and get a little uncomfortable--for His glory. It's the reason why I will put myself in a situation to get verbally attacked again.

The church and our youth will always disappoint. If it was for their approval that I worked, the towel would have been thrown in a long time ago. But it's for Christ and a debt that I can never repay.


"But as for you, O man of God, flee these things. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, steadfastness, gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ, which he will display at the proper time—he who is the blessed and only Sovereign, the King of kings and Lord of lords, who alone has immortality, who dwells in unapproachable light, whom no one has ever seen or can see. To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen." 1 Timothy 6:11-16


05 April 2013

I miss my friends.


Being 20-something sucks sometimes.

There's the bills.
The job (that I love but still).
The RESPONSIBILITIES. 
Bleh.

But then there's living so far from your friends!
My best friends do not live anywhere close and though I speak to them almost everyday via text, email, Facebook, it doesn't replace spending hours with them doing pointless things. Things you only could afford to do when you were in college.

I guess that's why we have vacations.

Don't get me wrong--I love my 20-something life. I'm doing what I dreamed of when I was 14 and going out of my mind. Yet, without my rosy memories of college to look back on--I'd be a sad, sad person.

So if you're in college--IT'S THE FREAKIN' WEEKEND. 
Go enjoy it. Responsibly of course.

And I'll be at the wedding I'm obligated to go to...
P.S Here's a funny:
http://myfriendsaremarried.tumblr.com/post/45495812916/when-someone-tells-me-im-just-like-the-girl-in-27