In hindsight

Last night, I was at watch night service with the rest of my church family and was looking forward to sharing my testimony--how the Lord has guided and provided for me this year. I wasn't able to so I thought I'd share my story here.

I've briefly talked about it before but it started with graduating from college with a degree in journalism from Baylor University. I wish I could say I was happy that day but it one of the most frightening days of my life.

I graduated with a degree that my family didn't want me to get.
From a school they didn't want me to go to.

And what they said would happen, did happen. I didn't have a job and in six months, I was to start paying back student loans.

But that wasn't the scary part.

I had to move back home. My plans of moving to Austin with my best friend were thwarted by the economic climate (and UT kids taking all the jobs there).

What came after were months of rage, depression, anger, anxiety and loneliness. I was extremely angry with God for where he was taking my life. I took the rage out on my family, making for tense living arrangements and for relationships that were only hanging by a thread.

In hindsight, their love and patience astound me. My family was unconditional and steady when almost nothing in my life was. It brings me to tears to think of what I put them through. I can say that I'm thankful but that doesn't begin to explain the feeling. 


I started looking for jobs in January and I didn't find one. February came and went. Then it was March. I was tired, weary and at the end of my rope with God. My relationship with Him was nil. I was desperate and a friend suggested that I go back to Him. I started re-reading The Purpose Driven Life and keeping a prayer journal, to remind me of what I was asking for and how God was answering my prayers.

In hindsight, I know that God was testing my faith. I did not depend on him to meet my needs. I thought I could do everything on my own. He had to pull me back and though the wilderness was brutal, I couldn't have asked for a more God-filled year. His presence has been overwhelming. I know He's orchestrating something beautiful and I'm just one piece. My job is to answer His call and be His face on this earth. Though I stumble and fall, He will catch me on put me back on my feet. He always has.

In April, I found a great job. I still live at home and it's been hard at times but great. I'm so happy I got the opportunity to rekindle my relationship with my family after being gone for so long. I still have my best friends but I have new friends, too.

If your life seems like its falling and nothing is going right, it's probably because you weren't going the right way in the first place. Fall towards God. He will make your ways straight. His plan is better. And with Him, you have nothing to lose.

I want you to be all mine. I am weaning you from other dependencies. Your security rests me on me alone--not in other people, not in circumstances. Depending only on me may seem like walking on a tightrope, but there is a safety net underneath: the everlasting arms. So don't be afraid of falling. Instead, look ahead to me. I am always before you, beckoning you on.--one step at a time. Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, can separate you from My loving presence. 
-Sarah Young, Jesus Calling 

This is the season

What can I share about my Christmas that may be different from your own? 

Maybe this. Last year, I talked about my church group's caroling antics. This year, I actually have video so I can prove it to you. And they put it better than I ever could. 

CELEBRATE! Your Lord, Jesus Christ was born today to save YOUR life. 

Do you know?

Mary, did you know

that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know

that your baby boy would one day rule the nations?

Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

The sleeping Child you're holding is the Great, I Am.

Do you know? 

Do you recognize the Great Purpose of this child, our God?  It is worth remembering and rejoicing every year--every day! 

The Office: Not what you expected

Note: The quarter-life crisis comes even earlier than you think. At 21, college students graduate with a life plan written out and expecting it to turn out all the same. Sometimes, it doesn't. Today's post is written by Meredith Lockhart. She blogs at www.meredithlockhart.blogspot.com. Enjoy her post! -Nincy
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I’m so thrilled to write on the post-grad life. If you would shown me a little video on my post grad job, I would have laughed in your face and said “yeah right, that’s me?” 

Unlike most college seniors, I knew what I wanted in a job. I wanted to work in marketing for a natural food company and live among the beach bums, hippies, and sun-tanned babes in California.

Long story short, I spent a whole year searching for the "perfect job.” 

I wanted independence. I wanted to do something sporadic. I wanted to follow my dream and move to sunny California. I wanted to choose my career path. 

I wish the Lord would have taken a big gavel and bonked me on the head. 

Because of the enormous focus on ME, the dead ends, closed doors, and rejection letters really broke my heart. Even in writing this now, I feel a stab of sadness. 

I wish I could tell you I’m writing this on the beach in California, but I’m not. The Lord closed my California dream (for now) and sent me down a different path. 

Ready for it…I work in the marketing department at Neiman Marcus. Yup, a pretty big leap from the natural food thing. I would have never ever in my wildest dreams picked this as my job. But you know what…I love it! The Lord provided an excellent job where I am surrounded by innovative and passionate people, where there is numerous opportunity for ministry, and where I work for a reputable company. 

Yes, I’m on information overload from starting this new job. Most nights I’m too tired to do anything. Some days I feel like a dummy and totally helpless. And other mornings I stare at my closet and think…what the heck do I wear for my job at Neimans?! But one things certain…I have the favor of the Lord. And whatever the Lord has in store for my life, I’m running with it. His plan is THE plan. So I will just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Swiping that Visa never felt so good.

With a job (and money), I've had the pleasure of picking, buying, and wrapping gifts for my family this year and it's put me in a cheery mood.
Is there anything better than giving when you don't have to? Giving out of choice, not obligation? It's one of the best rewards from having a salary this past year--no joke!
It hasn't been all great. Here's the not so fun parts.
1. Getting to the check out counter and finding out it's the cashier's first day.
2. Thinking that I'm all done shopping and ready to head home when I remember that I forgot to get a gift receipt.
3. Buying a toy, getting in the car, then realizing I didn't get the sale price.

Don't forget to give this Christmas. To your family, strangers and those in most need. You were also given a great Gift, and not because He had to.

The Office: When it isn't enough

Nine months of working in the real world and I've only written one post about it. Doesn't seem right.

Especially since I spend 8+ hours each day either at work, getting to it or leaving it. It's been interesting, to say the least. I appreciate the fact that no day is the same, a paper no longer means a 10-page report, and I have co-workers that I can more than exist with.

But I didn't realize how much of a priority I placed on what I did for a living until...well, I started doing something for a living. When I spend the majority of my day somewhere, I want to know that I've made a difference. Unfortunately, my job cannot fulfill this need for me. Perhaps, yours can't either.
So what do you do? There's the option of quitting your job and finding another one which is out of the question when you have student loans to pay off and a non-profit job just isn't feasible financially.

Here's the option I've discovered: find something else. Though you're spending 8 hours a day at work, you still have your evenings and your weekends. It may be tempting to spend those precious free hours glued to the television because you're too tired to do anything else but trust me, you'll have more energy to do your job well if you invest in other people outside of work.

God has impeccable timing, I know this because after working for a couple of months, he called a group of us to lead young women to Him through bible study and fellowship. When work is going awry and days get longer and longer, I can think on this and find joy and know that His purpose is greater than I can see.

I know none of our efforts, either at work or outside it go unnoticed. Our God sees all good and rewards all good. But if you need this void filled and filling it through work is not a current choice, giving your talents and time to others can meet that need.